


By the Seaside

by yamabuki_kana (cygnisor)



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night - All Media Types
Genre: Contemplation, Existential Crisis, Fluff, Gen, Relationship Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 13:16:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17867942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cygnisor/pseuds/yamabuki_kana
Summary: Alexander is by the shores of Okeanos Singularity when Lord El-Melloi II finds him. They talk.





	By the Seaside

**Author's Note:**

> note that when i mean alexander, it's the younger self. they just talk, that's all. there is absolutely no romantic notions between alexander and waver. also, here alexander calls guda as "teacher" as per his preference in dialogues.
> 
> also im not very knowledgeable with servant concept, so pls bear with me...

The sea is clear today.

Alexander watches the tides roll into the beach, nearly reaching his place. The sun is hot against him, the back of his head, burning his nape; and its light scatters onto the rippling surface of the sea, until it is sparkling with the waves.

It is quiet here. But the silence is not unwelcomed. He is accustomed to the crowd—rowdiness, camaraderie; people of _Makedonía_ and students of Aristotle weren’t known for being demure and reticent. But here, surrounded by the sound of the waves, as the sun pours onto the back of his head, contrary to everything he has learned in lifetime—Alexander finds himself enjoying it.

He digs his toes onto the warm cusp of the sand, and watches, as it pours down out of his soles when he wriggles his feet.

“I thought I might find you here.”

Alexander turns and finds him—the man. The one carrying the legendary Far-East strategist within him. Something inside Alexander burns, a little. As though an ember of excitement has been kindled, in response to a worthy opponent.

That flame flickers out of existence, when he returns his attention to the sea. It’s odd by how quickly the sight saps him from his will to fight. Perhaps there are some traces that remain from his future self after all, despite his current personality the manifestation of his youth.

He smiles, leaning his weight onto both hands. “Can’t help it. I happen to like the sight.”

Heh, odd to think about that, when he’s witnessed stranger things, things more miraculous from his adventures with Teacher. His Master has always had the penchant of attracting strong and skillful opponents. Alexander has always liked them for that.

He notices, of course, when Lord El-Melloi II moves to stand by his side. His spiritual signature makes it hard not to.

“Master is looking for you.” The sand on Alexander’s side shifts as Lord El-Melloi II draws closer. “You’ve been spending five hours since the Rayshift, and they're worried.”

Alexander blinks, looking up at him. “It’s really been that long?”

Lord El-Melloi II’s dark silhouette cuts an unsettling contrast against the sky, his face nearly shadowed from the sun’s harsh glare. But even then, Alexander still can see the perpetual frown on his lips.

“Yes,” he answers, clipped. “Master thought you must’ve gotten lost somewhere in Okeanos.”

Lost. Alexander considers it, looking away until all that is within his periphery is the neverending stretch of the sea, and the horizon above it.

“Lost? No, I don’t believe so,” Alexander finds himself answering, somewhat absent-mindedly. A pack of seagulls flies into the depth of horizon, stretching across the sky. He wonders if they will reach the sun. “Mm, at least I’m not lost in the way you might think.”

“Oh?”

Alexander tilts his head to side. “Yes. I think I’m at loss in trying to find myself.”

He hears Lord El-Melloi II inhale, harsh.

Alexander doesn’t mind it, and merely closes his eyes instead. The sun’s rays heighten in intensity, coloring the back of his eyelids red. It’s true; ever since he’s gotten summoned at Chaldea, he often finds himself at loss at what to do, how to conduct, what to feel.

Somewhere in the world that creates him—this aspect of his personality, also lies another him, the full-fledged one, the one where he is already a King and both Conqueror.

Is it right for him to act as though he is a King, when that merit wasn’t even accomplished in his own time? Is it right for him to stay a child instead, laughing and fighting and enjoying at his leisure?

He wanted to see the ocean that marks the end of the World. He’s seen it now. Is it a disservice to his older self, that he has gotten what he wanted, when his whole life had been a journey to reach that life-consuming goal?

“Rider... no, Alexander...,” Alexander turns at the voice, finding Lord El-Melloi II in hesitation. “You....”

Ah, and this too. Alexander grins at him, despite. “Caring so much for me, Caster?”

It’s still amusing to see how fast Lord El-Melloi II’s countenance freezes at his words. His hesitance in answering, too. Moreover the usual slack-jawed look he adopts when he is truly caught off-guard.

Alexander knows, alright. He knows of what they’ve shared—not him of now, of course—but that other him, the one who had seen the entire world in his lifetime, with this man before him. It’s hard not too when Teacher brought him along to solve that other Singularity where his older self had been summoned to fight in the Fuyuki Holy Grail War.

Alexander likes him, but he wishes that this man won’t be too abashed around him.

He decides to point that out. “You seem to be at loss as well,” he says, watching as Lord El-Melloi II’s head snaps toward him, his gaze wary.

Alexander continues, “You don’t know how to act whenever I’m around, because you are a person of my future, and I am a person of your past.”

He looks hurt—Lord El-Melloi II. He looks as though he wants to deny it, but he can’t. Because—

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

Lord El-Melloi II looks away.

It makes a tiny guilt twinge in his chest, and so Alexander leans back again, onto both of his hands. He doesn’t mean to strike so harshly into Lord El-Melloi’s heart. He’s... just grateful, for having someone that looks after him as well besides Teacher.

“Thank you,” Alexander says. “You don’t need to care, but I’m thankful for it. You don’t have to be so worried—I was just thinking of what I would do now, since I’ve already seen the ocean.”

Okeanos is no longer a dream outside of his reach.

It surprises Alexander when he hears Lord El-Melloi II say suddenly, “Of course there are many things, still.”

Alexander turns to him.

Lord El-Melloi II is staring down at him again, his hair lulled by the sea wind. But where Alexander could only find hesitance earlier, there is only determination, now.

“What do you mean you don’t know what to do?” He prompts, voice sharp. “You haven’t conquered the entire world, remember?”

And Alexander breathes.

Oh. Oh. Of course. Of course there is still something to do, after all. An ocean is naught but a single thing to pursue after. Alexander can’t believe he hasn’t realized it himself.

He has been summoned to an era unlike others, where heroes alike meet and time enables them to see other things he can’t even imagine. How could he even limit himself to one, single goal?

Alexander finds himself grinning until his cheeks hurt with the force of it. And he finds that Lord El-Melloi II is smiling too, his gaze fond, the expression smoothing the harshness of him.

“You have my thanks, Caster.”

Lord El-Melloi II’s smile softens a bit when Alexander rises up to meet him, calves still wet from the sand. And it’s in that moment Alexander knows that he is lucky indeed, for having a vassal so trustworthy and considerate.

He also has to know something. “Caster, tell me.”

“What is it, Rider?”

Alexander tilts his head to side.

“The relationship you have with my older self—is it anything like Hephaestion and I?”

“That—” he looks away, undoubtedly red to his ears, face blotchy from his blush. “The answer is yes.”

Alexander grins again. When Lord El-Melloi II turns and finds his eyes, Alexander holds his gaze, meeting him straight on.

“I’m glad,” he says. “My older self is surely a lucky man.”

.

.

.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/arunichor) for more fate stuff!!


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